Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Seizure Waiting To Happen

As I mentioned a post or two ago, teachers are already back at work here in HumidityLikeABrickWall. A lot of changes have taken place in my school since summer break. A lot of classes were shuffled around; we got a lot of new staff members; and a lot of maintenance was done on the grounds while we were away. We got some technological upgrades, and some building beautification projects were done.

One that went horribly, horribly wrong was the ladies' room near my new classroom. Before, the bathroom was your typical institutional bathroom: tile walls and floor, steel stall, gurgling toilet. It was painted in nondescript colors, and it was always slightly dusty-smelling. Like I said, your typical elementary school bathroom. By virtue of being an adults-only bathroom, it at least was not subjected to the constant pervasive smell of urine like the kids' toilets. Most adults have better aim. *Most* adults.

After lunch on Monday (and a 32oz. glass of lemonade), I developed a need to use the facilities and went down the hall. Upon entering the bathroom, however, the need to go suddenly evaporated. I was so shocked by the changes that all thoughts of evacuation left me. Some of us may go to the bathroom for a few minutes to calm down, or it may be the one chance during the day that we get to ourselves -- how can they *do* this to us?!

All I could think, with the paint job and the flickering fluorescent lighting, was: "This is a seizure waiting to happen." Either that, or someone watches *waaaay* too much Nickelodeon. I was horrified beyond the need to pee. And that's saying something.

I'm now scared to go to the bathroom. I guess I'll just have to hold it until I get home.


Val said...

That's crazy! So, by painters' thinking, medical offices and waiting rooms should be done in calming mint greens and pale pinks and frazzled teachers' sanctuaries should get the wild kingdom green? :) Seven years ago--and probably seven years ago tomorrow, actually--I started teaching at a middle school, and I know I only got one restroom break all school day, and some days, there wasn't even time for that. The green walls would've made the craziness of "back to school" that much more surreal, indeed!

amy said...

I, I am at a complete loss.

I'm so sorry.

kathy a. said...


Marni said...

Wow! That's --- ummmm -- GREEN!!!!

ccw said...

All I can think is there must have been a hell of a sale going on at the paint store. Who would choose this color for an adult bathroom?

It looks like someone threw up their green eggs and ham.

Fortune Cookies said...

listen, I have epilepsy, and that bathroom IS a seizure waiting to happen! I'm glad you escaped!

Anonymous said...

Technology truly is an inescapable aspect of our daily lives, and I am fairly certain that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.

I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as technology further advances, the possibility of uploading our memories onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could experience in my lifetime.

(Submitted by BlogServ for R4i Nintendo DS.)