Juvenile Humor Alert

Offspring was busy doing a Mythology crossword puzzle for a homework assignment. She sat on the couch muttering to herself and checking facts in her Mythology book. The following conversation ensued:

Offspring: "Dad, who was the second husband of Mother Earth?"

Juggling Freak: "Dunno. Maybe Cronus?"

KLee: (playing solitaire on the computer and throwing in a comment wildly) "Cronus! The Master of all Time!"

(We frequently pepper our conversations with snatches of "Simpsons", "Futurama", or "The Tick" dialogue. Pay us no heed.)

Offspring: "Well, the book says that Uranus was her *first* husband, but it doesn't say anything about her second.... I don't think that "Uranus" is the right answer."

KLee: "Well, see if Uranus fits!" (Meaning, see if it fits into the crossword puzzle.)

Juggling Freak: "Hehehe....you shoulda heard what you just said!"

Yes, we're all fart-joke making middle-schoolers at heart.

Afterward, Offspring says, "Yeah! Uranus *does* fit! Wait. That still sounds so wrong."

Juggling Freak: "Yeah, but pronouncing it "Ur-uh-nus" doesn't make it any better, now does it?"

Is It Friday Yet?

I'm looking desperately forward to the weekend, if for no other reason that I can have a few hours in which I do not have sick kindergartners all over me. That would probably be a good thing for my immune system, I think.

Also looking forward to it because Marni is heading my way! We have plans for a meet-up, possibly for lunch, so that will be fun! Unfortunately, the weather isn't going to be spectacular while Marni and her lovely husband, Carl are here, so we'll have to make up for it in other fun ways. I'll keep you all posted, and make sure that we get some pics together!

Proud Of Myself, Sort Of

Offspring and I got into a discussion yesterday about body images. While we were shopping, she asked me if she could have a box of the Girl Scout sugar-free Chocolate Chip cookies. I jokingly asked her why she wanted to bother with sugar-free. She mistook what I was saying, interpreting my comment as me calling her fat. I told her, right there and then that I was NOT trying to convey that to her AT ALL! What I was meaning with my remark is that a lot of people, me included, feel like if you're going to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies, you might as well buy the high-octane stuff! There's no sense in going easy with those babies! They're a once-a-year treat, and you shouldn't feel badly about having an extravagance every now and again.

I told Offspring all about how I promised myself a loooong time ago that I would never call her fat, however tacitly, and that I would do everything in my power to never harp on her or chide her about her weight. I spoke of how I've been made to feel less than beautiful, less than normal, just LESS in general because of my size. About how I never wanted that for her and about how I was made to feel so bad all my life that I could never do that to her. We talked for quite a bit about it, and then I tried to move on before "talk" turned into "lecture." It's a fine line I walk, that talk/lecture thing.... We went on about our day.

Then earlier today, I called my mother. She asked, as she always does, after Offspring, and how she's doing. I mentioned that she seems to be growing taller every day. Mom mentioned that the last time she saw Offspring that she'd gotten taller and lost a good bit of weight as well. I asked Mom not to belabor this too much to Offspring , and began to tell her about Offspring's mistaken assumption about my comment the day before. I told her that I knew what it felt like to be harped on all of your life about your weight. Mom took exception to that, saying that she never harped on me about my weight. I quietly said, "Yes, Mom. You did. Every time you told me that I would be "so pretty" if I'd just lose some weight." She stammered that she didn't mean it like that -- didn't I know what she meant? I told her that I knew she never meant to be hurtful, but that it was like telling me that I *wasn't* pretty. A lot. She got very quiet. We got off the phone shortly afterward.

I don't know what will happen now and if there'll be any fallout, but at least I finally told her how much it bothers me. If nothing else, I can be proud that I finally got that off my chest.

Spock Takes On The Culture Of Fat

I was watching "The Colbert Report" last night, and the featured guest was Leonard Nimoy, known to most people as "Spock" from Star Trek. What a lot of people don't care to know is that Nimoy has also written a number of books, including poetry and photography.

Colbert had him on to promote his new book, called "The Full Body Project." This is a coffee-table style book that showcases women of all sizes. In the interview, Nimoy stated that his reason for making this book was that there is a generation of women, both young and old, who hold themselves up to the standards of conventional beauty. That we, as women, are being sold a bill of goods by society -- that we are not normal, and those models who can fit into those skimpy bits of cloth held together by bubblegum *are.* That they are right, and we are wrong.

I always liked Nimoy -- I thought he had a fairly good sense of humor, and didn't take himself too seriously but he has gone up several levels in my estimation. I am glad that he had the courage to not only turn out beautiful photographs, but to explain to the public that these women ARE beautiful. And the women who posed for the photos in the book? They are far braver than I could ever be, and I applaud them.

Still Waiting

....and it's still killing me. Not much else to report here. School, Girl Scout Cookie Time, and trying not to get sick. Woke up this morning with a sore throat due to nasal drainage. Hopefully, I can chalk that up to the extreme fluctuations in weather here.

Trying to exercise more, and still waiting waiting waiting.

Paitence Is A Virtue

...and one I do not possess. I've always had a hard time waiting for things, especially for *good* things coming my way. Christmas was always hard for me as a child because I simply! could! not! wait! I learned that Juggling Freak was even more impatient than I as a child -- he was one of those super sneaky kids who would unwrap all his gifts before Christmas, look them over, and rewrap them! And his mother, bless her heart, never had a clue. My own mother was far too wily for that one. I would have been lucky not to get my butt blistered if I had tried that trick!

What's making me anxious these days? I had an audition this weekend. It's for a musical with one of the local community theaters, and I'm not being very patient, waiting for casting news. I have been wanting to get back into theater for a while, and now that Offspring is older, I can. I'm no longer so overbooked with Girl Scout functions, and I have some time to devote to another passion.

The director has some more auditions this coming weekend, but has promised that we should have emails, letting us know who made the cut by 11pm on Saturday evening. I REALLY want a part. (I want a specific part, but I'd be happy with anything at this point.) There were nine women that audition for three parts, so I know that some people are going to walk away disappointed. I just hope that I'm not one of them.

A Conundrum

You know -- I love my job, I really do. I occasionally am less than thrilled with various aspects of my job, but the kids make it all worthwhile. I *love* seeing their faces light up when something they've been struggling with suddenly clicks for them. I love knowing that I helped make that happen.

My administrators have been full of good things to say about me lately, which makes me feel very good. It's always good to know that you're appreciated and that people think you're good at your job.

However, I have a sticky little problem that's niggling at me. A few days ago, my administrators offered me a chance to take on a job next year that would be ... hm ... how to say this .... um ... more challenging, but also a job that no one else wants. Now, the reason that they offered me the position was because they wanted a strong person in that capacity, and they thought I was the right person for the job. That's a nice gesture, but I'm afraid that the cons outweigh the positive here. The *bad* things about the position are that I would start off the year with a deficit -- I would have a lot more responsibility for no more pay or recognition. (Not that I'm only out for the accolades, but you know what I mean.) Also, I would have to work with another individual who is less than fond of me, and who would, most likely, treat me as a subordinate even though I'd be doing the lion's share of the work. Now, I'm not afraid of hard work, but I don't want this to be a set-up for me being dumped on for an entire year.

I told the admins that if they really need me to do that job for the next school year, I will but if I have any say in the matter, it would not be my first choice. Or second. In fact, it's last on my list. I just don't think I want to subject myself to it, but I have a very bad habit of second-guessing myself. Now, I'm wondering if my initial, knee-jerk reaction was the right one.

You Asked For It....

With Valentine's Day coming up, I thought I had better get myself in gear....



A photo album, featuring pictures of the family, but mostly of Offspring. :)

This is a fruit cocktail can that has been recycled -- you open the bottom of the can with a side-open opener, and clean it out. Then, once it's dry and the label has been removed, you can place a small gift inside and hot glue the bottom back on. Then, decorate however you like. I use these as door prizes at workshops -- there's a sweet little surprise inside!


This card was part of a card swap that I did with some other crafters in our area, and this was my entry. I really love this pomegranate color.


I have lots of other pictures as well, and I'll continue to post them every once in a while, so I don't overload you with crafts stuff all the time. Let me know what you think!

More Proof That I Am Indeed, A Flower Child

My mother and stepfather visited this morning. It's the first time we've seen them since Christmas, firstly because they live at the complete other end of town from us, and we all have lives; but also because they were on a cruise for last seven days. They went to St. Thomas, Turks and Caicos, Dominican Republic, and Puerto Rico.

Mom didn't have any pictures to share, but she did bring me back a rather unique souvenir. She said that there was a 50s and 60s revival show on board, and one of the performers was a person near and dear to my heart: Davy Jones, of the Monkees. Mom approached him, and apologized for interrupting his leisure time, but asked if she could get an autograph for her daughter who adores the Monkees. He agreed, and I am now the proud possessor of a personalized autograph from Davy (ahem -- excuse me, *David*) Jones.