Not Dead Yet

I'm sorry that I have been posting even less than normal lately, but I seem to have no time at all. School is eating up my days, and most of my nights. All is going well on the college front (I got an A on my midterm -- hooray!) but we're heading down the home stretch towards finals. This means more studying and more assignments.

I spent today at home sick. Woke up this morning with a 101-degree fever and some stomach-churning. After being sick one time, the nausea thankfully subsided. Now I'm just left with the odd fever spike and a feeling like I have a box of Triscuits stuck up my nose.

Despite the yuck, I had an assignment to write and upload to my professor before class tomorrow. I'm a little mad at Blackboard -- they've removed the automatic grade average (the "weighted total") at the bottom, though this may be in my best interest, since I checked it rather obsessively. I got the assignment finished and uploaded, and made dinner (tacos) and some cupcakes for my troop's Birthday Party for Juliette Low on Thursday. Instead of posting, I should be working on my next assignment, but I am officially putting that off until Friday night.

Currently, we are observing a time-honored family tradition: the Annual Watching of The Great Pumpkin. This is a ritual strictly observed in our household, with non-believers being labeled as "commies." Offspring expressed an interest in NOT watching The Great Pumpkin this year, and her father questioned her paternity, and my truthfulness as her mother. There was even some mild cursing. JF then turned on BOTH televisions to maximize the Pumpkin-y goodness, and proceeded to insist that tradition be observed and maintained. I will keep you posted on whether Offspring remains shunned from the family unit or not.

RBoC

Random Bullets of Crap:

-- Tomorrow is midterm. How the hell is it midterm already?!? I'm not really cramming this quarter because I feel a lot more sure with the subject matter. So far, my GPA is a 90.87, which I'm pretty happy with. I am wondering what tomorrow's midterm will hold, but since we take our exams through Blackboard, I will be able to see my score as soon as I submit the exam. So, I'll either be happy tomorrow evening, or totally bummed.

-- School (the other school -- the one I get paid to go to...) is going pretty well. Or, well -- I should say it's going well in MY case, though how others around me are feeling, I have no idea. The last two years have taught me that I no longer have the capacity to judge what "they" might be feeling one way or the other. That, and maybe sometimes change is not only good, but necessary.

-- Thursday is my birthday, and Offspring is taking macabre delight in torturing me with the fact that I'm a year away from forty. I now regret doing the same thing to my own parents. I see now how annoying that truly is. And, I feel creakier with every passing day.

-- Tonight I have a meeting that has all the hallmarks of DOOM! about it. I'm hoping that all the players involved in this mess can find some common ground and that it won't suck majorly. May the fates be kind to us all.....

-- I talked to my mother this afternoon, and my aunt who has brain cancer is doing well. She's scheduled to take part in a clinical trial starting soon, and then chemo and/or radiation by the end of the year. She's doing amazingly well, and I am so glad to have her not only still with us, but almost as good as new. I got an email from her a few days ago, and was so pleased that she was not only out of the hospital but also emailing and sounding like her normal self. Modern medicine is miraculous, and I am so thankful for that.

-- Offspring's been sick, and now JF's been sidelined, too. It's most likely not swine flu, Thank God. Stuffy noses, headaches, and slight temperatures. Just your normal ickiness of the season.

Not much else to report, so I'm off to make dinner and sit with my family for a bit before I have to head out for this meeting. Everyone have a good week!

Completely and Utterly Boned

This is one of those times that I HATE having a pseudonymous blog -- I have a situation that I'm dying to discuss with you all, and hash out in the smallest of details, but if I do choose to talk about it, I have to be so vague and non-specific about everything that I end up sounding like either a) a bad philosophy student, or b) stoned out of my gourd.

I'll give it a shot, nonetheless.

I have a personal situation brewing right now that is going to be bad, no matter how you slice it. Feelings are going to be hurt, people will feel betrayed, and friendships will end. I can see this all ahead very clearly, but am powerless to stop it, or even to minimize the impact. Sort of how time seems to slow down when you're in a collision -- you can't avoid it, and you can't help but see it as almost a dispassionate observer.

What makes matters worse, however, is that I've been asked to take charge of the situation. To helm the sinking ship, as it were. I can't do it because of time constraints anyway, but to be asked to take something that's broken and bleeding and FIX it? And to be asked by some of the people that broke it in the first place?

It would be a hard enough job to do on its own, much less while trying to mend the damage, soothe injured spirits and feelings, and bring all of the parties left standing back together as a cohesive whole. I can't do it. Not only because I have too much already demanding my time, but also because I think that there just might not be healing to be had from some of this.

All I can say is: you are a poor friend when you only look out for number one. If you aren't willing to give a hand to people you SAY you care about, then you don't deserve their friendship.

My Time Is No Longer My Own

You know, they say that when you have kids, your time is no longer your own. I had some of that when Offspring was small -- she needed more attention then than she does now, and these days all she really wants me for is to re-up her texting on her cell phone. But, it seems like lately, I've been gone more than I've been home.

I have class on Mondays and Wednesdays after work, so I leave home at around eight am, and I don't return until 8pm. Thursday afternoons are my Girl Scout meetings, so that's at least 5:30 pm. This week, we had a "field trip" on Tuesday evening, which was a one-off thing, and tonight Offspring has HER Girl Scout meeting. This comes on top of last week's commando trip to CityOfMyBirth to see my aunt in the hospital.

Forgive me if I'm feeling a little tired.

My class is going well. I HAD a hundred-point average until Wednesday's quiz blew that out of the water. Now, it's an 89.87, but I expect that to go back up. Hopefully. Though, like last quarter, I'll be happy with a "B." I'd LOVE an "A", but I'll settle for a "B". More importantly, I like the class a lot, and I'm enjoying the back-and-forth with the other students.

I have 14 Girl Scouts this year. Only three are new, but I think they've got lots of personality, and I will enjoy my time with them. This means that we'll have a whole new crop of girls next year! It will be sad to see these babies move on, but it will also be fun getting to know a whole new bunch of girls.

Right now, I'm making Mexican Lasagna for tonight's Mexican-inspired potluck dinner for Offspring's Girl Scout meeting, and then I plan on coming home to clean up a little before Offspring has her friend over tomorrow for a Movie Extravaganza. Got to straighten up the living room, and then I plan to fossilize my butt to my bed and watch all the stuff that's been accumulating on the TiVo -- two eps of "Heroes", "The Other Boleyn Girl", and some other random stuff. And sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.