Now Is The Winter of Our Discontent

Cold weather has come to our local, mostly temperate area. Or, maybe not. See, the problem with living in the warmer parts of the country is that we typically have two seasons: "hot" and "not."

Lately, it seems that Mother Nature can't seem to make up her mind about which season she wants us to enjoy. One day it is warm, and the next it's cold. I wore short sleeves on Monday, and a thick, bulky sweater on Thursday. I knew that Friday, our school was planning to head outside for a disaster drill run-through, and I did not want to be cold during the event. I figured that I would wear something warm, and then I would be comfortable for the drill. Mother Nature, however, had other plans.

Wednesday here in HumidityLikeABrickWall was cool. It wasn't hot, and it wasn't cold. Thursday was COLD by our standards. The kids all arrived in parkas, like they were expecting the Abominable Snowman to show up for snack and recess. Between Thursday evening and Friday morning when the alarm went off, I had to get up and put some socks on -- I was that cold. (And that's saying something, because I usually sleep with one foot poked out of the covers as my "temperature gauge." It helps keep my body regulated. I'm odd, I know. You don't have to keep mentioning that -- I get it.) Anyhow, so...socks, right?! I woke up to another brisk morning on Friday. I had no heavyweight fabric pants in my arsenal, since normally we wear clothing as light as possible (and without breaking any indecency laws...) here.

I caved in, and wore the pleather pants. I even called Juggling Freak, who'd had a couple of really bad days at work, to tell him I was wearing the pleather pants, hoping it might cheer him up. It didn't do much for him, because he wasn't there to enjoy them. He groused that I'd have them off before he got home and could even see me in them, so I promised that I would keep them on until he got home.

The weather was still nippy when I left for school, but by the time we got done with our disaster drill, I was roasting in those flipping pants. I went to the bathroom after we got back in the classroom, and damn near slid right off the toilet because my lower half was drenched with sweat! I *knew* there was a reason that those pants struck fear in me! They're uncomfortable and sweaty! Still, true to my word, I kept the pants on until Juggling Freak got home so he could see. Once he'd gotten an eyeful, I took those bad babies off and flung them as far as I could. That was a bit of a task since they now weighed twice what they had that morning. Being sopping wet with sweat will do that to you, I guess.

I have very few doubts that I won't be wearing the pants again any time soon. I did learn a few things, though. People don't think of me as a leather wearing kind of person. Those pants did inspire a few odd looks. I learned that Elmer's Glue will roll right off of imitation leather. And, most importantly, I learned to go with my initial instinct when involving outerwear. (Though I'm sure this applies to under-wear as well.) And, last but not least, I learned that Mother Nature's a fickle bitch.