Darwin Award Contender

Juggling Freak has several online communities that he frequents, from juggling forums to theme park employee forums. One of the ones he spends a lot of time in is a bodybuilding forum, and they recently had a big brouhaha that brought to mind the fact that a lot of its denizens have gigantic muscles to make up for their lack of intelligence. As if -- "well, I'm not SMART, so I might as well be buff!"

Now, before anyone (especially Juggling Freak) thinks I'm putting down body builders, or people who like discussing body building, let me assure you that I am not. I'm just pointing out that there's a reason that there is a stereotype of some jocks as beautiful, but rather empty-headed.

It seems that one of the forum members decided that he would post an off-topic rant about how he wanted to kill the president. Dude, SO not a good idea. When people pointed out to this pillar of the community that he *must* have been joking - ha ha ha - because it's really not cool to threaten the president, the idiot responds that no, he's SERIOUS. He even tried to get other people to join in, and named a day, place, and time for everyone to gather in order to "go after" the president. Other forum members tried to tell him that this was not a good idea, but MusclesForBrains continued on.

Needless to say, a day or so later, the forum owner came forward with a letter he'd gotten from the Secret Service where they'd requested his name, records, and all of his information. Dude better get his affairs in order real soon, because I think he's about to take a long vacation, courtesy of the United States Correctional System. Not white-collar, country club prison, but *federal*, being-sodomized-by-a-guy-named-Crusher kind of prison.

The owner of the forum told the other members that while it is not legal to threaten the president, it is not only legal, but *encouraged* to type the phrase "owned!" to this gentleman under this discussion topic.

The Fury of Children Scorned

My class was set to take a field trip today. We've been talking about the trip for a while now -- to a local pumpkin patch where the kids get to take a hayride and choose a small pumpkin of their very own. This trip was planned back in the early days of the school year, around eight weeks ago.

This morning, around 2am, our power went off due to the rain. I should have had a clue right there that things were not going to go as planned.

When I got up for the day, the skies were a pewter color, still steadily disgorging gigantic raindrops all over Creation. The puddles were large and numerous. The street gutters were choked with rain, stray papers, and the effluvia of fall -- pinecone bits, leaves, and a multitude of acorns.

At school, our trip was canceled, and could not, unfortunately, be rescheduled for a later time. The children were sorely disappointed, and moped for quite a while this morning. I asked my principal if I could make a quick trip to the neighborhood grocery store, to see if I might find something to liven up their dreary, non-field trip taking day.

I returned with two 99-cent bags of disposable gloves, a six-pack of microwave popcorn, and a medium-sized bag of candy corn. Six bags of popcorn later, the children were all smiling as they brandished Monster Hands at each other. It may not make up for missing a cool field trip (though I've been on it so many times that I really wasn't all that sad to miss it....) but at least it made a dismally rainy Friday a little bit better.

An Open Letter to the Universe

Dear Universe:

I am writing to complain about your recent treatment of me. I thought it might be best to list my grievances, and then we can go from there. If I do not hear from you, I will assume that you want our working relationship to be terminated, and I will seek employment elsewhere.

This week (so far) has been nothing like last week. Nothing monumentally bad has happened yet, just a collection of irritating incidents that contribute to the feeling funky.

Mondays are bad enough, right? One would think that Monday was enough hell all on its own, and not have to produce *more* independent verification. I got fussed at by another staff member at work. No surprise there, but it was one of those piddly little things that can discolor your whole day.

Tuesday went fairly well, with the exception of the spiking heat here in the Southeast, which made everyone crabby, and tempers short.

I woke up at 3:17 this morning with a pounding migraine. I took three pills, and headed back to bed. When my alarm went off, I rolled over, and realized that I'd made a colossal mistake. I had to call into work. I could barely see, and from the chorus of tympani drums that was reverberating inside my skull, actual movement and productivity were going to be nil today.

I spent the day in bed, sleeping away the migraine. I awoke in the early afternoon, disoriented by the darkness that shrouded the house. I started to panic at the thought that Offspring was not yet home from school, and it was growing dark -- until I realized that it was raining outside, and the overcast skies made it seem much later than it actually was.

After Offspring and JF arrived home, I figured I had better appease my growling stomach, and make something to eat, since I hadn't eaten anything since about 7pm on Tuesday. I filled up a jig of water for Raspberry Ice koolaid, and as I attempted to put it back into the 'fridge, the wet bottle slipped out of my hands, shattering the plastic refrigerator door bin. Great. Now, I have *two* door bins to buy -- this one, and the one that broke three months back. $66 dollars and one Internet search later, we have new door bins headed our way. Some time within the next 3 to 7 days. Hopefully.

I decide to go rest on the bed and pet the cat while JF kindly does the dishes for me. After about 20 seconds of petting, said cat turns on me like a mob informant, and proceeds to claw and bite the hell out of my arm.

Universe, I would like to have a month where I do not have prime Wednesday Whine fodder. Please give me the time off, or I will be forced to contact my attorney. This could be considered a hostile work environment, and I do not have to tolerate it. I know my rights.

Signed,
A Seriously Funked-Out, Pissed-Off KLee

Down For The Count

This week continued to be one of those "hell week" kind of dealies, so I apologize now for my absence. Those of you who read the Wednesday Whine knew, sort of, what I was dealing with, and those who did not -- I'll briefly explain.

After my last post (about the disastrous trip to the mountains for the wedding), I had a very nice birthday. I came home to a husband who, even being VERY ill with the sinus crud that my students dished out to me, had still found time to go get me a great gift AND make a banner AND clean the living room, do some laundry and wash the dishes. How nice is that?! We went out to dinner on Monday to celebrate my birthday, and we spent the rest of the evening at home.

Tuesday morning, JF woke me up before the alarm went off to tell me that his mother had, at some point, been in such pain that she checked herself into the ER and was within the throes of a massive gall bladder attack. The docs had determined that they would have to removed the stone, since it was gumming up the works, and then they'd talk about removing the gall bladder all together. They got MIL into the day surgery unit for the stone removal, and discovered that she'd passed the stone at some point, but that the gall bladder would definitely have to come out. On Thursday afternoon, she had the gall bladder removed, and was in tremendous pain. we went up to see her after the surgery, and the docs had said it was a good thing that they removed it because they could see several more stones there as well. Also, they also said they saw some sort of cyst or lump of tissue on her ovaries, and when she heals, they want her to see her OB/GYN about that.

Friday, she was released from the hospital, and we made sure she got home safely. We spent most of the weekend at home, quietly, trying to recuperate from this week. I made MIL some chicken soup, and we took it to her earlier today.

Now, I'm going to bed, and hope that the next week brings good things, and a return to normalcy.

Stuff, In General

As I said in the last post, forgive my recent silence. I was sick, out of town, and am attempting to celebrate my birthday today. I say "attempting" because the number 37 is really making me feel old. Really, really old. I know it's all in my head, but I'm not loving being 37 so far.

Of course, the alternative is MUCH worse. I'll take 37 over the Great Dirt Nap any day. So, I've settled for telling everyone today that I am three days older than the sand in Jesus' shoes . It gets the point across. :)

As for the wedding -- let's just say that it was beautiful, and I'm glad I got to see my family, but there are damn good reasons that we live so flippin' far away.

Above, Offspring got a chance to do some homework in the very little downtime we had.



The happy couple chose an autumnal theme, and had a Tim Burton-inspired wedding cake. Pretty cool, even if I don't care for Tim Burton movies....


I did get a chance to hang out with my brother, who is, as you can all see from the picture above (click to embiggen) is not exactly what one would call *normal.* I told him that this picture was getting plastered on the Internet, and by God -- I'm living up to my promise.

I also threatened to give a framed copy of this to his girlfriend for Christmas. My brother is a nut, and it was great to see him. Unfortunately, he lives a good four hours away, and occasions like these are the main way we are able to get together anymore. I'll see him next at Thanksgiving.

Right now, I'm off like a prom dress. The fam is taking me out to dinner for my birthday.

Back, Briefly

Just a quick note to say that I'm sorry for the silence, but I was in the foothills of the mountains this weekend, attending my cousin's wedding. I shall return soon, with a post and pictures!

You Guys Are the Best

Thanks to all who responded to my last post. I know it wasn't exactly the most coherent thing I've ever written, but that kind of goes hand in hand with what I was (and still sort of am) feeling.

I sometimes feel like scrapping the blog -- ideas are hard to come by, especially when all you have to say is: "I got up this morning, did a bunch of stuff, and then went back to bed to do it all over again tomorrow." I know that everyone gets to the point where they feel the same way. I've seen many of you post about throwing in the blogular towel, and I've even known some people who've actually DONE it. (As a matter of fact, there are a couple of them still on my blogroll. Note to self: fix that, would ya?!)

I also have the tendency to over-schedule myself, and then I get so flipping tired. That's where the spiraling starts.

I do, however, want to say that the main reason that I keep the blog going is all of you -- my friends. Your support helps me through those harder days, and the friendships that I've made keep me tethered. I already knew you guys were great, but it was confirmed by little things like opening the mailbox to find a card from one of you. I would miss you all too much if I were to chuck it all. So, I guess that means that I'm sticking it out, and you're all still stuck with me a while longer.

Besides, some of you promised to visit. And, then I owe YOU visits, and I can't have things messing up the all-important vacation plans.

Remember?

Remember the days when you woke up, and the world was laid bare before you, full of promise? When each new day was an adventure to be hurtled into completely, and without forethought? Remember when you couldn't fall asleep for the anxiety, the wanting of the new day to begin?

Remember when you felt young and bullet-proof? Like nothing could possibly stop you from conquering the world? Like your star would burn bright for all time, and that you could almost burn up from the radiance?

I've lost that feeling lately, and I don't know how to get it back. I used to be this absurdly happy, pie-in-the-sky, Pollyanna-ish, disgustingly chipper person, and it's somehow gone. I don't know when I lost it, or why. I just look in the mirror, and know that I'm not happy with me anymore.

My life is great -- don't get me wrong -- I have a great family, a job that I feel blessed to do, and talents that many others express desire for, but something is not right with me. It's not depression, it's not dissatisfaction. It's just this hole where I once was. Where did I go?