Remember the days when you woke up, and the world was laid bare before you, full of promise? When each new day was an adventure to be hurtled into completely, and without forethought? Remember when you couldn't fall asleep for the anxiety, the wanting of the new day to begin?
Remember when you felt young and bullet-proof? Like nothing could possibly stop you from conquering the world? Like your star would burn bright for all time, and that you could almost burn up from the radiance?
I've lost that feeling lately, and I don't know how to get it back. I used to be this absurdly happy, pie-in-the-sky, Pollyanna-ish, disgustingly chipper person, and it's somehow gone. I don't know when I lost it, or why. I just look in the mirror, and know that I'm not happy with me anymore.
My life is great -- don't get me wrong -- I have a great family, a job that I feel blessed to do, and talents that many others express desire for, but something is not right with me. It's not depression, it's not dissatisfaction. It's just this hole where I once was. Where did I go?
7 hours ago