Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Yet Another (Will They Ever Stop?!?) Fat Rant

Okay, before you all run away screaming bloody murder -- let me state that I will try to remain civil in this particular fat rant. "Try", mind you. Let's only hope that I'm more successful than my last attempts.

I was talking with a friend tonight who was telling me of a recent session with her therapist. The therapist is of the mind that most women who have been abused or sexually assaulted are overweight. I don't what she bases this opinion on -- are there studies? Does she see an inordinate number of abused women who are heavy?

At any rate, it hearkens back to something that my (very brief) therapist mentioned to me: do I stay fat because it's "safe"? I was told that maybe I choose to remain fat because it's a way that I desexualize myself; make myself less attractive to any would-be rapist. That somehow, being fat keeps me "safe." That those layers of fat protect me from the world. And, that I remain fat even now because it's all I've ever known, and I wouldn't know how to relate to myself without that crutch.

I am not exaggerating to say that I was highly pissed off by this notion. Would anyone ever *choose* to be ridiculed by both family and strangers? Rationally, I know that rape is not about sex, but about power and control. Sure, rapists often target women that they find attractive on some level, but being fat is no 'get out of jail free' card. Fat women are raped quite often. There's no reason involved, just the proclivities of the rapist.

For this person to say this -- this person who was supposed to be HELPING me -- was an utter betrayal. I just hope my friend who is hearing it now deals with it better than I did. Obviously, I'm still insulating myself from the pain of the world by remaining fat, and giving the mental finger to any rapists on the make out there. Just doing my part.

7 comments:

Beth said...

What a dumb ass. My best friend was sexually molested throughout her childhood. She's an average size; athletic build, actually.

I'll back you with a mental finger.

Bridget said...

let's all have anohter piece of chocolate cake and wipe out sexual assualt altogether!
maybe i should stop washng my face, since having severe acne will probably make me less attractive to potential rapists too?
argh!!!

ccw said...

There must be some new study out because our paper had an article about the link between childhood sexual abuse and obesity.

However, I find it amazing that a therapist would make such a comment to a patient. I wonder if the therapist makes the link the other way: women force themselves to stay thin solely to make themselves sexual. Or athletic to desexualize by being more "masculine"? Somehow I doubt that is the case.

I can't see how this would make someone feel better. My middle finger is raised along with you.

jo(e) said...

Wow. How absolutely appalling.

I've always been a big believer in therapy but now I've heard so many horror stories from bloggers that it's beginning to make me wonder.

Isn't there some way to report a therapist like that and have her license revoked?

I have done writing workshops with survivors of abuse. Women and men who have been abused come in all sizes and shapes. The only thing in common is that look of pain in their eyes.

liz said...

Gah. GAH!

The stupid thing is that there IS a study. The study showed that there was a higher percentage of rape and incest survivors among overweight women than in the population of women as a whole and that the percentage went even higher when looking at women with bulemia. The study was looking at causes of eating disorders. HOWEVER, just because a person is overweight, doesn't mean they have an eating disorder NOR does correlation in anyway imply causation NOR should a therapist bludgeon anyone with their new pet theory.

Gah!!!

Anonymous said...

So, fix all these link issues, eliminate any instances of
keyword stuffing, and cloaking, which an Web Search Engine firm to
take care of such things. Many people have discovered
the hard way that tricking people into going to their web
site. Consider how fast the respond to emails and
phone calls.

Here is my web site: optimizing search engine results

Anonymous said...

Natural Body need a boyfriend at HomeSteam, saunas, spas, etc.
My advice would be to need a boyfriendify and sculpt your human body, you'll rid yourself of the toughest to get to waste, is to go through need a boyfriend safely, and comfortably.

my blog homepage