In the comments of the last post, jo(e) asked if there was any chance that I would post the middle-of-the-night, forgotten poem. I am living up to the "reluctant" part of my title because the last time I shared one of my poems, it stopped conversation quicker than a runaway train slamming into a brick wall. Now, I never claimed to be a poet, much less a good one. (That poetry award and scholarship in college notwithstanding - I could've been the only applicant.)
After some hemming and hawing, I've decided to post it because my cup not exactly runneth over with a multitude of other ideas for a post today. So here it is. Don't say I didn't warn you if you hate it. Here's hoping you don't.
Forgotten Poem
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I lie with closed eyes
watching the lights glitter and ping
like sonar
my brain forgot to switch off
I feel the blood throb in my temples
as I wait for sleep
to entrap me and pull me down into
into
itself with warm, hypnotic arms
I teeter on the edge of a half-remembered dream
all the while, longing
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10 comments:
Wow.
I love the rhythm and the sounds of it as well as the images. ("glitter and ping like sonar" is just great.)
I especially like how you lead up to those last two powerful lines. Nice.
I really like this. I can completely visualize and feel this poem.
I found some HS poetry of mine and one poem was about "Our love is like a wingless butterfly". Now, that should never be seen by anybody.
Laughing @ ccw.
I think the silence is more likely because people feel unsure about poetry. They don't know whether to trust their own tastes.
It's good, KLee.
I'm not educated enough to know what makes for "good" poetry (or any "good" art, for that matter). But I know what I like.
And I like that!
The imagery is beautiful and it has a pleasing metre.
Beautiful!
I especially like that it's about not sleeping when you wrote it in your sleep.
Love it. Thanks for sharing it here KLee.
I agree with the rest of the gang - it's good. For me, the last two lines strike me the most, capturing how the wait for sleep can feel. I am the kind of sleeper who can awake and, upon falling asleep again, re-enter the dream I last left, so that spoke to me too.
Yay KLee! And thanks for sharing. :D
it is good, or at least i like it. i esp. like the repeated "into" it's liek a breath and an embrace.
I love this.
I have a lot of people on my links that are poets. Mother of Invention, Bullet Holes in the Mailbox. Check them out, they have more links to poets. You are good and might even enjoy some of their stuff.
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