Party Update, Now With More Mostly Naked Indian!

Before I took my self-imposed hiatus, I had mentioned my Mom's birthday party last week. Remember that it was a theme party? Mom had chosen a Cowboys and Indians theme, and had instructed us to come in costume, or face her wrath. Offspring and JF decided to cobble costumes together with items we already had here at the house, and went as Cowboys. Well, sort of. JF went as a federale, complete with huge Mickey Mouse sombrero. It was very easy to spot him from any place in the building. That hat has its own weather system.

Offspring was a cowgirl, and was over the moon because we had purchased her a denim skirt at El Diablo WalMarto that she pronounced as "swirly." She spent darn near every second of the evening twirling around the dance floor to watch the skirt flare out. That is, when my aunt wasn't teaching her how to shag.

The whole costume thing was problematic -- I decided to go as an Indian, since the other two members of my family were going as the cowboy contingent. I bought some dollar-table brown fabric and made myself a quick outfit, and beaded the hem. Not hard, but sort of time consuming. A lot of the partygoers chose not to wear costumes at all. Some of them that DID wear costumes went to extremes. My aunt (the one that was teaching Offspring to shag) decided that she didn't fit the mold as either a cowboy OR an Indian. She refused to let my mother pigeon-hole her that way. She told my cousin (we'll call my cousin Daisy Mae and my aunt, Auntie B) that she was going to go as one of those "saloon girls." Daisy Mae's pithy reply: "You mean a whore?" Auntie B's face brightened, "Yeah!" So, Auntie B arrives at the party in a screaming purple satin getup, complete with fishnet stockings. For a woman of about 65, she looked good. Odd, but good.

Another adventuresome soul out on the Fashion Edge was a young guy who came in a loincloth. I don't even KNOW this person, but my mother apparently does, as he was grinding his scantily-clad loins all over her on the dance floor. If nothing else about him, we can tell that Mostly Naked Indian Guy has a healthy self-image to parade himself around in nothing but a wide strip of cloth. But, I am only able to tell this because I am a discerning observer of people and all their quirks. The average layman can't do that. It takes a finely honed eye.

Many drinks were consumed, and my mother, self-named Princess Prairie Wind, had a great time dancing and reminscing with all of her friends and family. Three of her sisters and her one brother attended, and five nieces and their significant others (and in some cases, their children as well). My brother and my quasi-sister in law (he REALLY needs to propose!) made the party, and spent most of the time in the bar, swigging drinks and watching football. He even missed the embarrassing-but-necessary "family moment" to "We Are Family" where we all had a spotlight dance with Mom. Kodak moments, I tell ya.

And I have the blackmail photos to prove it!