Thursday, September 28, 2006

Confession is Good For the Soul

My good friend (and tampon thief) Karyn has this little meme up at her place, and I am all about hijacking it and running away, shouting, "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

The idea is that you are supposed to confess five secrets from your life. I doubt that I have any really good secrets left, but I'll give it a whirl.

1.) My husband dated a friend of mine in high school. (He and I did not meet until after college.) He's told me*intimate* details about her, and now it's hard to look her in the face.

2.) I once had a fling with a "bad boy" in college, and it was very disappointing. He was supposed to be this really wonderful guy, and it was very much nothing to write home about.

3.) After the fling (see Confession #2), he said some awful stuff about me to mutual friends, and I got back at him by telling everyone that my new nickname for him was "Sal." When people asked me why I called him that, I said it was because he was like a third-world nation: sadly underdeveloped. "Sal" was supposed to be short for San Salvador. (I felt badly for stooping to his level afterward, but hey -- I was 18 or 19.)

4.) I once shoplifted a candy bar from a little 7/11 store by my grandmother's house when I was visiting. My grandmother discovered that I'd stolen, made me take it back, apologize to the owner of the store, AND write a letter of apology. And then she told my dad, and I got spanked AND got restriction. (I was about seven years old.)

5.) To the jerk who used to torture me every day at lunch in high school - I was the one who told the principal that you had marijuana hidden in your wheel well of your car. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean my ears don't work. And when you constantly bully people, don't be surprised when they lash back out at you. (I should feel more sorrow that he got in a lot of hot water over that, but I really don't. Does that make me a horrible person?)


Old Lady said...

At least you maintained your anonominity. Sometimes revenge is ours.

ccw said...

Soemtimes it is better not to know something. An aunt once mentioned that her boyfriend had to use a penis pump (she was made when she hshared this tid bit) and it was so hard (haha) to look at him after that.

I really don't think that calling the guy Sal or turning in the bully was evil.

Marni said...

I don't think it was evil at all. It's all about Karma, baby! He got what was coming to him...

Karyn said...

Makes you a scary person. And one not to cross. Not a bad person though.

Tampon thief... pretty rich coming from a candy robber! ; )

Harmonia said...

I really enjoyed this post. Just proves we are ALL human, eh!? #5 was awesome! I'm a woman hear me ROAR! ;)

Anonymous said...

That so does NOT mean that you are a horrible person. It means that you rock mightily.

And I want to grow up to be like you someday.

La Binsk

Anonymous said...

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