Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The No-Good, Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day

As some of you may have read over at Phantom's Wednesday Whine, I am. not. having. a. good. day. I mean, I've always viewed my life as a sort of Comedy Of Errors sort of deal, but today takes the cake.

I started off my day by getting bitten all over my right foot by fire ants. This was a really spectacular start to the day. Then, my students were completely out of their minds, testing every boundary that we've ever established. I have one little miscreant who has taught my three other miscreants how to flip birdies, and they think this is the coolest thing since sliced bread. I am. going. to. kill. them. So, we had to spend our (sadly needed) outside time going over the school rules instead of playing. I made the miscreants sit on their hands while I wrote notes to their mothers.

A little later in the day, I was called into my assistant principal's office where I sort of got in trouble. It wasn't anything major, but enough to make the day that much more enjoyable. And, to make the day that much more special, my tendonitis in my wrist has been acting up. I wore my wrist brace to work to help alleviate the pain, and took my prescription pain meds for it as well. On my way back to the classroom, I was stung by wasps that appeared from nowhere. One flies down into my brace and stings me on my hand. Two others sting me on the butt where the gluteus join the leg. I now have to trot myself off to bare my bottom to the school nurse. What fun. Never having been stung by a wasp before, the nurse makes me hang around for a while to make sure I don't have a reaction. I look like I've been slapped hard on the butt *and* punctured with a large-bore hypodermic.

I had had plans to go grocery shopping after work, but the wasps stings are making my leg hurt, and walking around is not making me a happy camper. As I leave the store, the entrance is clogged with people because it's now *raining.* Of course it is. And not just raining. It's Noah's flood out there!

I'm wearing sandals (yay, open toed shoes that let the ants right in!) and they immediately get soaked in the splashing. So, now I'm soaked, my shoes are all slippery and squishy, and the Very Thin Shirt that I had chosen to wear to work was plastered to my body like I was a waif-thin model on a runway. The rain is cold. Cold rain + plastery thin shirt on fat lady = wet t-shirt contest for rednecks.

To wind the day up, I get a call from my Girl Scout co-leader who tells me an interesting story. Apparently, the mother that had all the Issues with me and is not letting her daughter return to my troop in the fall is telling all of our other parents that I did something to her daughter, and *that's* the reason she's not returning. Never mind that a) I never did anything but love that child; b) my co-leader was present at EVERY meeting and does not remember any incident where I offended or hurt said child; and c) I have seen that child three times so far this year in the school setting, and she's hugged me every time. Does this sound like a child I've hurt? This woman is going down.

I'm going to finish my Kool-aid and go to bed before some other awful thing can happen.

19 comments:

Phantom Scribbler said...

My mom says some days are like that.

Even in Australia.

(Do they have fire ants in Australia?)

I know it doesn't make up for anything, but you are *totally* winning tomorrow.

Songbird said...

Fire ants *and* wasps?!?!!!
Inconceivable!!!
I'm so sorry about your terrible day!

purple_kangaroo said...

Big, big hugs. I hope your day goes better tomorrow.

Musey_Me said...

Wow - I think you've won the horrible awful no good very bad day prize for life!

Miche said...

Oh my. I hope the Karmic Gods are paying attention and something Super Wonderful happens real soon!

Beanie Baby said...

Oh my god. What a wretched day. Poor you.

Would you like a virtual mudslide and a plate of virtual chocolates?

ccw said...

(((KLee)))

Tomorrow has to be better.

Marni said...

Bless your heart! BIG hugs from the ATL. I hope today (Thursday) is better and the parents of those little urchins have sense enough to do something about there behavior.

As for the ants and wasps -- ugh! I can't imagine! Hope you feel better soon! Take some Benedryl...

corndog said...

I am so sorry about all of it, the fire ants, the bird flippers, the ass wasps, the unintentional wet T-shirt boobosity, the ungrateful and vindictive Girl Scout Mom. But here's the good news:

1) You got your worst day of the school year out of the way early.

2) I'm with Miche, the Karma goddess now owes you big time, so start buying lottery tickets.

3) This could be a great country and western song.

Love ya, sweetie. Have a better day.

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

You had me at the ass wasps--voted for you over at PS's site.

halloweenlover said...

Awful terrible no good day. I hope today is much much much better!

Old Lady said...

Daum, that is a rough day. Did you tell your cabana boy to fetch you a refreshment?

KLee said...

Never having been stung by wasps before, I had no real baseline as to how much they would actually incapacitate me. My whole hand hurt, which made writing excruciating. Typing was only marginally better.

Thanks for the good Karma wishes. I hope I'm storing all the good stuff up for one stellar day. Winning the MegaMillions is part of that stellar day, so Karma Goddes -- take note! I'd like a nice figure with at least three or four zeros behind it, please!

Thanks, all.

anne said...

Whoa-- I was late to hear about ALL your injuries. This stinks.

My boys make me get a needle and pop their fire ant bites once they turn white. They believe this releases the sting. Whatever. I set up my operating table and do it and it makes them happy to get pricked. To each his own.

Feel better!

Karyn said...

Dude. That SUCKS. On every level.

Here's hoping for a bee-free, ant-free, dry and sunshiney asshat-less day tomorrow.

Jesus. I hope your Kool*Aid has some Grey Goose in it.

molly said...

I'm coming right over to let the air out of the tires of that girl scout's momma. Lemme at her.

Sorry you're having such a bad day. You need to go and visit the Cabana Boy site again. Hugs to you.

liz said...

Many, many hugs and a bottle of Sting Soothe from me.

Bridget said...

sorry to hear about your no good awful terrible rotten day.
hope today will be better.

Sue said...

Aawwww...this is such a horrible day. I hope it got better...