Providing a soapbox for the inherently cranky since 2005.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
The Cat Meme
I saw this meme at Ladybug Crossing (I got there via Purple Kangaroo) and just knew I had to chime in on it. I give you -- the Cat Meme, starring the irrepressible Lotus. (Also known by the pseudonym "She Who Aggravates.")
Okay, Lotus -- it is up to you to answer these questions. -------------------------------------------------------
wnetilsk dbnt ...ooops. Um...hello. My name is Lotus, and I'm a napaholic. Whoa -- wrong meeting. Okay, here we go!
Q: What is your favorite food? My favorite food is Fancy Feast canned Gourmet Chicken Dinner. That stuff makes me yowl in ecstacy! (Plus, that really annoys the humans.) Too bad they don't let me have it more often. Just so you know, humans -- your breath could use a TicTac or three yourselves.
Q: What is your favorite toy? It is beneath my regal nature as a cat to deign to play with toys. They are to be viewed from afar with disdain. However, if you happen to drop a Q-tip or a plastic drinking straw on the floor, that is *totally different.* It is clearly prey that is trying to escape from you, the human, and I am trying to help you out by tearing it to shreds in an attempt to subdue it.
Q: What is your best trick? What am I, a trained seal? I don't do tricks. Again, beneath me. But, my humans marvel at how quick I am able to get out of throwing (or squirt-bottle) range when I decide to howl or claw the bed at four in the morning. Except for that lady -- she hardly ever moves. If I want an audience, the dude is the one to go for. Plus, it's hilarious when he tries to throw things at me and misses because I've knocked his glasses off of the table.
Q: What is your favorite human trick? You mean we can get *them* to do the tricks?! Why doesn't anyone tell me these things? I suppose that I like their ability to keep producing the food out of that cabinet. It just keeps coming and coming.....
Q: What human rule do you break most often? Hm. I guess the one where I'm not supposed to puke on their stuff. And they say I don't give them anything! That lady one also doesn't like me sharpening my claws on the couches, or her quilts. She's kinda fussbudget-y that way. I need to keep those claws sharp! I'm a killing machine!
Q: What do you wish your human knew about you? Just stop with the baths already! You always say they'll make me more comfortable in the end, but THEY NEVER DO!!!
Q: What are you glad that your human doesn't know about you? I'm glad they're not yet aware of my plan to take over the world. Or, at least this house. Wait -- did I type that? Ooops! Nothing to see here, move along......