Thursday, July 13, 2006

Random Bullets from the Freaky Sunburnt Chick

You know, if it wasn't for bad luck, some days I'd have no luck at all. Here be bullets:

*As I mentioned in the previous post, Offspring had a friend, LovesHarryPotter, spend the night last night. LovesHarryPotter is the only daughter of my best friend, OzChick. She's one of a set of triplets, and is two years older than Offspring. They have, literally, grown up together. They've been friends for a long time. It's nice for Offspring to have friends come over because there's just not that many that she would care to invite to the house. So, when she does have a friend over, it's pretty special for her. I guess this is why she suddenly seems to develop this attitude of entitlement. I have no other way to explain what happens when my normally placid child suddenly develops the dreaded "teenager/it's-all-about-me" disease when the word 'sleepover' is uttered. Ladies and gentlemen, if you see in the newspaper that I've run amok, chalk it up to the fact that I have a daughter who is ten, going on sixteen. Triple Action Attitude! Now featuring Brand-New Utter Disdain! With more snark for your spending dollar! What a bargain, folks! Don't you want some?

*The waterpark. It's a teeny little place, in a town about 45 minutes away. This town mainly exisits because of the Big University there, so there used to be very little to do. But, as urban sprawl sent people fleeing from the crime-ridden cities, Little Uni Town (which started off merely as a wide place in the road with a couple of cows thrown in) has become a blossoming place, complete with this nice little waterpark. Our supposed "big town" doesn't even have one of those. So, we drive the approximate hour to get to the waterpark, and pay our fee and head in. We claim three chairs, and I *immediately* slather on the sunblock, and put on a special shirt that I save especially for swimming. the girls go off, and in the next five hours, I see them for about a total of thirty minutes. Most of this is taken up by lunch. Fine with me -- I swim, read a book, cover up like the Elephant Man while sitting in the sun. Every time I get out of the water, I lather on the sunblock again. I'm wearing a long shirt, a hat, sunglasses, a layer of sunblock an inch thick, and I've covered most of my exposed flabitude with towels. Not only good for hiding the sun, but as a courtesy -- shielding the public from my pasty girth. You know you're fat when your father tells you not to bed over in an airplane because they'll show the movie on your ass.

I burn any frickin' way. At least, this time, it's on my legs and feet. The legs aren't that bad -- it's the feet that are a lovely shade of burgundy. I tried taking a picture to post, and either it's way too dark or too light. So, you'll just have to trust me on this -- I have nice red feet until about halfway down, where it stops sharply. The contrast of red and white is quite startling, actually. Very artsy.

*The reason my feel burn is that I kept my shoes on the whole time. (I asked Russian Violets the other day -- is absolutely *everyone* wearing Crocs where you all live? I know that they've made it to Utah, since dooce obviously has serious issues with her husband's. Offspring had to have a lurid purple pair, but since we're not what we'd call wealthy, we purchased the Wal-Mart brand. We call them "Mocks." At $35 bucks a pop for foam shoes? No, I don't think so. Not unless we win the lottery. That's a dinner out for the three of us! We'll use that money, go to dinner, and just buy the cheapie $5 knockoffs. That way, if they tear up, we're only out $5 bucks. Sorry, I digress.) Anyway, I have a pair of white Mocks that I wore all day -- in the pools, everywhere. Apparently, the sun decided that this was a great way to screw with me, and so now I have these nicely bisected red-and-white feet with the occasional peeky-hole sunburn dot. I am such a freak.

I thought the Crocs were pretty ugly, but at least they're confortable.

*I'm highly jealous of all my bloggy pals who are having blogger meetups. I feel severely cheated that no one lives close enough for me to meet. Am I just that scary? Or is the South just that scary? I did learn that Liz's mother-in-law lives just a short way over the river from me, so I may be able to (possibly) at some point get to meet Liz. If I don't frighten the bejeezus out of her between now and that far-off date, that is.

*I see a lot of people are making lists/posts about the things on their iPods. Random playlists and such. I won't be doing any of that, probably. The last time I posted lyrics to one of my songs, it was a very effective conversation ender. Suffice it to say there's a LOT of Fish and U2 on there. You all know I like them...I won't bore you with lyrics anymore. Learned my lesson on that one.

*There was a baby scorpion on my rear-view mirror the other day. WTF? I didn't even *know* scorpions lived down here! I certainly never thought I'd run across one in my car! Luckily, it was barely the size of an ant, but I still freaked a little. How the hell did it get there?

*I'm still trying to get myself back on a somewhat regular sleeping schedule. It's not really going swimmingly. I'll keep you updated, if things develop any further.

*I've been commissioned to make a pirate quilt for a friend. She's asked for a red, white, and black color scheme. She's in charge of getting the fabric, and I'll post pics if it ever comes to fruition. Also, I'm working on a project for a friend. Can't say more about that one right now, but I will in a week or two.

*Our school district has decided to move to uniforms for school next year. Offspring is less than enthusiastic about it. We've already been out, scouring the shelves for uniform pieces. So far, she's really liked everything we've bought, but I expect the love to wear off after the first week of school. When JF asked why I was buying things so early, I had to explain that if I wait, there will be NOTHING at all available in her size. Get it now while they're there. I will see if she wants to do a fashion show. She'll probably love the idea. Not shy, my child. During my very first ultrasound, the tech started laughing. She asked JF and I if we had any acting experience. Imagine her surprise when we both answered "yes." When she had recovered enough to tell us why she'd posed that startling query, she turned the monitor to us, and showed us that Offspring was waving. I forsee a stage career of some sort in her future. She'll come by it naturally.

*Do any of you worry that waiters in restaurants/fast food places are doing weird things with your food? I ask because I waited tables for a short period in high school, and I know the things I *wanted* to do to people, but never got the courage to do....

*School starts soon. I will be traveling to the CityofMyBirth to visit my family next weekend. Looking forward to that. My brother's coming down from his home about an hour away. It'll be good to see him. Also have plans to see my Dad, and my grandmother. All my aunts and uncles live there, too, and I'd like to see some of them, but I don't want to try and cram the whole family into one short weekend. There's too many of them for all that. Maybe one aunt.

Well...I suppose I should go and try to sleep. I 'll have to make sure that I check the bed for scorpions first.

5 comments:

ccw said...

I can completely relate to the attitude when friends are around. Kid L is so obnoxious when a friend is over.

So, so sorry about your burnt feet.

Crocs are everywhere. Kid L has a green pair. I got the real ones. They really are comfortable, but I'm still amazed that I paid $30 for rubber shoes, but they fit me too so I will get my money's worth.

I am not ready for school to start. Kid L will be getting on the bus about 1 1/2 hours earlier. The change in schedule will kill me.

liz said...

Completely sorry about your sunburn. Yowtch!

I absolutely guarantee that we will have a blogger meet-up when I next go down to visit my MIL.

First, because I love you and must meet you.

Second, I'll need to get the heck out of her house. Lovely woman, but she drives me batty.

Karyn said...

Sweet Jesus; I am really happy I have boys right at the moment.

Scorpions? I'd be so out of there.

If you're GOING to continue turning your skin a two-tone fuschia and cream duo, it's good you can be creative with your Mocks. What the hell are crocks? Crock means something else where I'm from.

I had a friend who slathered sunblock all down her legs and then over the tops of her feet with widespread fingers... but not far enough. She burned, of course. So she had reverse images of her hands on the tops of her feet for a week or so. It was most amusing.

medieval woman said...

My mother has a pair of Crocs - she says they're the only things that are comfy on her feet. I still wear Old Navy flip-flops.

I'm sorry about your sunburn, too! But I have a craving to go to a waterpark. We had one called White Water in OK when I was growing up.

And speaking of Oklahoma and scorpions - about 10 years ago I was staying at home in between moves for a month or so and I was in bed watching MTV at 3am. The ceiling fan was on right above my bed and I heard this clicking sound in there. I thought it was just off balance (you know how those things sound when they're off) - and then the clicking stopped. A few minutes later I turned off the TV and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp, but I saw something dark fall from the ceiling fan onto my bed. I got out of bed and went and looked at it closer in the gloom and it was a big, nasty 4 inch long scorpion! I screamed and grabbed the two furballs who were camping in there with me and my mom came in an killed it with a shoe.

But it wasn't a Croc...stay safe from those suckers!!

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