Friday, November 11, 2005

'Adventurous', you say?

You know, people do all sorts of things to each other in the name of love, or lust, as the case may be. I don't even pretend to understand what drives some of these needs.

JF found this story the other day, and immediately thought of it as blog fodder.

This poor schmoe not only had to suffer the indignity of having his penis glued to his abdomen and his buttocks glued shut -- the woman also painted an obscenity on his back in nail polish. The woman scorned claims that this was all part of their "adventurous" sexual routine. I'm not buying that, sister. Even the most cutting-edge sexual play generally doesn't involve Super Glue.

Can you *imagine* the pain? I wail like a freakin' baby when I hot-glue my fingers together.

The jury awarded Glue Man the sum of $46,200 for his "pain, suffering, and emotional distress." Not to mention genital mutilation. I'm still pondering what exactly happened the first time he had to take a poo.


RussianViolets said...

I'm a prude, I guess, but I'm a big believer that pain does not equal adventure. And super glue does NOT go in the bedroom -- ever.

Running2Ks said...

OOf, that is not a good thing. And here I am, thinking of what a mess it would be when he peed.

ccw said...

That certainly doesn't sound like an "act of love" even for the most adventurous. Ouch!!!
I cannot even imagine the mess, the pain, or the embarassment.

KLee said...

RV, I completely agree -- Super Glue has no place in the sexual arsenal. I'm also with you about the pain. Pain is not pleasure for me, either.

R2Ks -- It just boggles the mind, don't it? I guess the natural wonder of "what goes exactly where" is a universal one, 'cause that was one of the first things I thought about. JF pointed out that the guy wanted to sue not only because she did this to him, but he suffered pain and anguish because because he had to walk 2 miles to find a phone to call for help. Yet this was all part of their 'adventurous' sex game. Shyeah, riiight.

CCW -- Like I said: I can't even begin to fathom some of the things that people do to each other. Not only in the bedroom, but everywhere else. And all supposedly in the name of love.

halloweenlover said...

Ugh, how awful!!! The link wasn't working for me, so this woman did that to the guy? Was there a reason???


KLee said...

HL -- apparently, this woman was a former girlfriend, and they had gotten back together briefly. When his guard was down, and he fell asleep, she Super-Glued his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks shut, and painted an obscenity on his back in nail polish. When he woke up, he had to walk two miles to call for help. The case was being adjudicated, and the guy got the $46,000 as his judgement. Nice girl, huh?