tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14917571.post5403408904754486256..comments2023-10-31T06:48:39.805-04:00Comments on The Reluctant Prophet: PonderablesKLeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00432371404842970536noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14917571.post-14182131473704096752008-03-20T19:41:00.000-04:002008-03-20T19:41:00.000-04:00Infertility.... I had that. Inexplicable, unrelent...Infertility.... I had that. Inexplicable, unrelenting infertility, about four years worth. Then it went away as magically as it arrived and here I sit with two giant weiner kids wondering how hard God is laughing at me with his Ha Ha, I Tried To Tell You sense of humor.<BR/><BR/>Infidelity..... my husband was in love with another woman at least once in our marriage. To my knowledge it never went further than his obsession and emotional attachment to her but it was toxic and it left marks which I thought were repaired, things I thought I got past, but kind of couldn't. I think infidelity is sad but it wasn't the deal breaker for us; I was always willing to try again and again and again until I couldn't. I think it's mostly cowardly and , again, sad.<BR/><BR/>Telling someone you're pregnant... especially if you aren't "with" them. Hm. I've actually thought about this, not because it's been my situation, but just the "in theory" thing... I think I'd have to tell. That's just me and it seems like the right thing to do.<BR/><BR/>Good questions, girlfriend.Karynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16454832927860410268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14917571.post-67352018737979584872008-03-18T09:02:00.000-04:002008-03-18T09:02:00.000-04:00Shit - my big, long comment was eaten. The short v...Shit - my big, long comment was eaten. <BR/><BR/>The short version: I would not leave over an affair. Not b/c I was unfaithful in my first marriage, wanted to preserve the sanctity of marriage, or keep it together for the kids. I would not leave b/c I'll be damned if I'm going to split my life, money, belongings in half because Mr. MFBA couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Plus, I have a feeling that living with me after the fact would be more difficult than if I just left. <BR/><BR/>As for being pregnant and not telling, my mom did not tell my dad about me until I was about 3 and then it was b/c she was so emotional about me being sick in the hospital. I understand her reasons for not marrying him (he wanted to) but I have never quite understood why she didn't tell him b/c I don't think it would have changed anything. She would have still moved away, still not married him, etc.ccwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05319415763862282537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14917571.post-39424647286449230532008-03-13T23:31:00.000-04:002008-03-13T23:31:00.000-04:00infidelity is a deal breaker for me too. it is ab...infidelity is a deal breaker for me too. it is about so much more than sexual intimacy, it is about betrayal of trust and utter immaturity and lack of basic kindness and in my opinion is deeply selfish.<BR/>You wanna mess around, go home and say so and break up and move out...then you can mess around.<BR/>infertility is something I am deeply grateful to not to have had to shoulder in this life. <BR/>and there should be no big secrets in families - not really - because then trust isn't real.<BR/>Interesting post and thought provoking.Gawdesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09646113157120724047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14917571.post-45475791249490025382008-03-13T22:23:00.000-04:002008-03-13T22:23:00.000-04:00Anne, I understand your sense of outrage and betra...Anne, I understand your sense of outrage and betrayal at the woman who you feel broke up your family. I understand that your father was in pain after the loss of your mother, but the haste with which he renewed his relationship with her was crass and tacky.<BR/><BR/>We have a situation similar to your in my extended family -- one partner cheated on another, and shortly after being caught cheating, dumped the original spouse and is now married to the "cheatee." It's very hard to socialize with them because it's always in the back of my mind, and it was a formative experience. <BR/><BR/>I also have another family member who took back a cheating spouse. I don't think that I'm big enough of a person to do that. I'd always be suspicious after that, you know?<BR/><BR/>I think your comments to Spitzer's daughters was on point. I think there will be a hard road ahead of them, and I hope that they can weather the storm. And, like you say, I hope that their father takes the high road, and doesn't wuss out on what he did, and actually takes responsibility for his own actions.KLeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00432371404842970536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14917571.post-59767781370393236022008-03-13T18:43:00.000-04:002008-03-13T18:43:00.000-04:00Having lived through a childhood in which a parent...Having lived through a childhood in which a parent had an affair, then did nothing to make amends, infidelity is a HUGE issue for me. I have a problem with the married person who has the affair and the (in our case) single person who is willing to date a married person (man in our family's case).<BR/><BR/>She will never know the hurt she caused our family. I don't think my father is capable of understanding. I posted about this much more obliquely on my site today.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com